I’ve been talking with a client recently about the importance of self-image, how we see ourselves, our self-perception, and we’ve explored how much this can dictate how we behave, what we do and don’t do. And in broad terms, how beliefs about ourselves and our capabilities can either help us or make it difficult for us to make the most of ourselves and situations.
Let’s look at some examples of what we might consider are helpful way of seeing ourselves.
“I see myself as someone who in the normal course of events”:
✔️takes things in their stride
✔️can deal well with uncertainty
✔️doesn’t get worked up and uptight when things don’t go to plan
✔️can control their temper
✔️remains calm in an emergency
✔️doesn’t take unwarranted criticism to heart
✔️makes things happen
✔️lives in the moment
✔️lets things go, and doesn’t dwell on what might have been/could have happened etc
How would you say that you measure up against them??
It’s a tall order to meet all of those all of the time of course, we’re only human after all.
We’re just exploring here how if we are able to see ourselves thinking and behaving in these ways, then when we do experience a setback, misfortune etc, it’s likely that our self-image will help us to avoid, or work through and overcome them.
The main takeaway for me is that if we don’t measure up as well as we’d like to (m)any of the above, then
– it’s our emotions that are preventing us from doing that and as such
– we can do something about it
What can we do to boost our self-image?
A good start is when we acknowledge that it is indeed our emotions and our beliefs about ourselves and our capabilities that are behind this room for improvement. Having come up with these emotions and beliefs ourselves in the first place, this does mean that we can go to work on (re)establishing a more helpful, realistic and ‘positive’ self-image and outlook.
This is likely to include thinking skills backed up by more helpful behaviours, and requires practice, commitment, persistence, patience – change is not going to happen overnight – towards self-fulfilling and reinforcing beliefs.
With these improvements, the ultimate aim is for us to automatically assume that ‘I am someone who takes things in their stride’ etc., so that it does become self-fulfilling.
Do get in touch if you’d like a word about any of this.
You may also like to take a look at an associated blogpost: Your behaviour and habits